Thursday, August 09, 2007

I have such mixed feelings today.
I just got back from taking McKenna to her first day of her sophomore year of high school.
She brims with enthusiasm and confidence and can't wait to see her friends, meet her teachers, and see what she gets to learn this year.
She is confident and pretty (wearing a cute red, retro-style dress and jewelry), but she looked at me with one lingering glance as she went in.
Yes, she's confident, but there's also a little bit of nervousness.
Will I do well this year again in my classes? Will I have friends to sit with at lunch?
And then I took Delaney to her first day of middle school.
As I dropped Delaney off, I could see her eyes mist up just a little bit.
She's so excited to go--she knows that there are so many new and fun things in store for her--but she's also nervous at the same time.
She knows that there are bigger kids there; that she has classes like she's never had before; that there are so many more students wandering around the halls.
And I think she senses that there is something more--that things are changing for her.
That she's not just a little girl anymore. She's growing up. And to her--my most sensitive child--that is a huge deal!

And here I am at home, adjusting to another year of school for two of my girls.
I'm excited because I'm much more productive and efficient when school is in session.
I'm anticipating the Fall season, which is my most favorite of all (football!!!!).
I'm looking forward to my one-on-one time with Sydney.
But, I'm also a little like Delaney and there's a little mist in my eye.
Because just look at them!
One's a sophomore, one's in middle school.
I can see it on the horizon--the indepedence, the breaking away, the spreading of wings.
I think we've raised them well so far. I can feel it in the way they talk to me, the way they handle things, the way they dream.
But, it's still so hard.
So hard to see my little girls growing up!


Adrienne said...

And you made me cry again! I feel the same way. Jaelyn was SO nervous...excited but nervous!!! Kayla is showing Aj the ropes....I broke down. **sigh**

Gin said...

Oh, such a sweet, sweet post. You have a way with words, Cheryl!

Ryan said...

I know how you feel! J is taking HONORS classes this year for 7th year and Meg wants to get into RLC!!! AAUUUGGHHHH!!!!!

Renee said...

I know how you feel too. I just came back from the girls' orientation and it feels so much more grown up. No babies anymore.
We'll be fine though, right?

Cheryl Wray said...

Adrienne--Oh sorry I made you cry! Just glad to know someone's feeling the same way I am! :-) Delaney was excited and nervous at the same time. She and Jaelyn had first class together, so that was good!!
Gin--Thanks! You're so sweet!
Ryan--They are just getting big too quick, aren't they?
Renee--We'll survive!!! :-)

Linda said...

mmmmmm.....I remember feeling those things, bu I think my favorite part of raising my girls has been seeing them spread their wings and soar. I'm such an independent thing myself that I guess I wanted the joy of knowing my girls were too. You will find great joy in that, when the time is right. Such a beautiful post my friend. Thank you for sharing you heart deep thoughts.

Susie said...

Those days are a distant memory for me, but I do remember how it felt. You have many more ahead, graduation, college, jobs, wedding, first grandchild, etc. Each milestone is a time for wondering "where did the time go?"
It's all good, though!!

Phats said...

my eyes mist when I go in our building for the first time too knowing I am held captive M-F 7-2 daily. haha! :)

totally get it, I can't believe they started, I have to go back Monday, kids start wednesday.

Where did summer go?

Dawn Bibbs said...

Oh,Cheryl...would you knock it off!!! You're making all of us CRY like babies!!! Ok,'re making ME (and Adrienne...hee hee) cry like babies.

I am SO not ready to do this type of post. Mine will come on Monday. Today, Jayla had her sneak a peek and she's WAY beyond excited to start Kindergarten.

I said all that to say, I know how you feel. Been there - Done that -Bout to do it again...SNIFF, SNIFF!!

Jenster said...

Oh boy can I relate!! And thanks for getting me all misty. :o)

My oldest (boy) is a sophomore this year, too. Dare I say it?? College is just three short years away. *sigh*

And my daughter is going into 7th grade. But school doesn't start for another two weeks. So now I feel this urgent need to spend as much time with them as I possibly can. But they have other ideas, though they're pretty good about humoring mom.

Where does the time go??

Meggy said...

Motherhood = Worry

Why is it so emotional, each step they take. At least we know we are all in it together. Keep Safe, nice to find your blog

Carolyn said...

Oh, what a heartfelt mom's post! And, as I scrolled down the comments, with the LOL, and the tears of letting go, I saw that you have a real support group going here. Awesome!! I think you wrote what so many are feeling. Great to see mom's like you, who are letting the kiddos spread their wings! You go, girl. Even if it hurts. Hugs :-)

~Telah said...

How sweet! I love what you had to say. I only took one to school today but I know I too will have one of those days when I see my babies growing up before me!

TK Angels said...

The memories. My daughter has been out of high school now for 6 years. Those beautiful days will fly by. You have beautiful daughters and they will do great.

Enjoy a little peace *smile* to get the chores done.

Take care,

dana said...

Hi Cheryl! I haven't been able to stop by anyone's blog, and I missed it!!! How are you? :)

I hate the mention of school cuz we have 3 more weeks!! Drew's a baby, but it means I have to go back to work. I hate the feeling of little ones growing up, but as you said, change is good. :)

Just Me Again said...

They grow up way too quickly!!!! I loved your made my glasses foggy, LOL. :)

Mississippi Songbird said...

.. Such a Sweet blog today..
They grow so fast..

angel said...

wow cheryl... two major milestones in one day! i'd have been bawling!

Dettao said...

WAtching your girls grow up is a bittersweet thing. I was so excited to see them bloom but sad that the babies were gone, too.