Thursday, May 15, 2008

"They like me ...
They really like me!"


Well, I've finally found someone who really likes me.

Of course, the problem is that they're not exactly human.

And I didn't really ask them to like me.

But, still, they've visited anyway and have decided that I must be one of the most attractive, most sweet-smelling, most alluring individual they've come upon in a long time. (Sydney, in fact, told me yesterday that she thinks they "really like how pretty I smell.")

Because they have decided to display their attraction and share their affinity to me by.... BITING me all over my body!!

Ugh...

Even though it is only May and I have only seen a few of them swarming around (so it's really too early for my annual Moquito Bite Body Covering) the little creatures have decided to come out early and greet me anyway. I have--I counted them--TWENTY TWO of the ugliest, reddest, biggest mosquito bites you have about ever seen. They are covering my hips and butt and stomach (aren't you GLAD I don't have the obligatory photo I usually have to illustrate my stories??). Just imagine a really large Connect-the-Dots puzzle and that would be my body!

No one else in the family but Gary has any mosquito bites (he has just one on the back of his knee), so I'm really sort of at a loss of where they came from to torment me. My theory, though, is that they decided to go kamikaze all over my sleeping body one night last week when our air conditioning was off and I opened the window slightly to get some cool air. Kinda like this...


So, if you happen to come down South and see a wild woman clawing frantically at herself, cursing "those little beasts," and reeking of the wonderful smell of Calamine lotion...

that would be Me.

22 comments:

Adrienne said...

OH NO!!!! They normally get Aj like that too!! Poor thing! But honestly, I HAD to chuckle just a little lol

Disney Scrapper said...

Girl you are too funny. Hope it gets better soon though.

Gin said...

Ha ha. so funny!!!!!

Sheila said...

I can't imagine the pain you are experiencing, but the way your post read made me chuckle. Sending you feel better wishes.

Cheryl Wray said...

Adrienne--It's awful. But, hey, sometimes you just gotta laugh at it!! lol

Disney--Thanks! :-)

Gin--Ha.

Sheila--Like I said: you gotta just laugh at it. I'm still itching miserably today. Ugh!

Yvonne said...

Poor baby! I'm normally their nectar of choice, so I understand your frustration. Hang in there and stay covered up. You are too funny Cheryl.

Monogram Queen said...

I must stink because they don't bother me much! Poor sweet Cheryl!

Ummm.... on a positive spin Calamine lotion is PINK! :)

Leah said...

22! That's crazy! It does seem so early for that. They like me too. Several years ago, during a week at our church camp, I had over 50 on my legs. It was the worst. Never had that many since then!
Remember, don't scratch them!! ;)

Linda said...

Oh girl, they love me too. The whole family can be there together and I get bit, no one else, just lil ol me. Hope they go away soon, and hey, a cold shower helps keep the heat down, which means they don't itch as bad.

Cheryl Wray said...

Yvonne--Ha ha! I guess I'm their "nectar" of choice now!

Patti--True. Pink is good! :-)

Leah--Oh my goodness, I can't imagine 50 of them!

Linda--Yep, i guess a cold shower would be good (but I can't stand cold showers. I like hot baths! Ha!)

Ms.L said...

Hee Hee!
I have the saaaame problem!
Try deodorant,that helps me.
Either that or sratch and scratch until they break open;p

I'm sorry they looove you so!;P

Gretchen said...

I am so sorry, Cheryl!!! We were visiting the South this past April, and my husband came back with a gajillion no-see-um bites. We totally got the Caladryl lotion for him. He was the only one eaten alive. Must've smelled really sexy or something. :)

xxxooogretchen

~Telah said...

I read somewhere that you can put Listerine in a spray bottle and spray that around outside, like on your porch if that's where you will be sitting, and it will keep the mosquitos away. Hadn't tried it yet so don't know if it really works.

jennifer said...

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!


Not yet!! The snakes are crawling already too - saw one the other day. Yep. Summer in the South.

Be blessed.

Jen

Anonymous said...

Oh yuck. I HATE skeeter bites.

Hope there better soon.

Marg

Kathy said...

ROFL! The comics that you added to this post fit so well! It's HILARIOUS!

I am also a magnet for those little buggers! They don't really bother anyone else in my family. Just ME! I tell my husband it's because I am so darn SWEET! Of course, he chokes on his beer when I say that! ROFL!

Lynilu said...

I've never had to worry much about mosquitoes. They loved my hub, and pretty much ignored me. Later we found that he had mild diabetes, and those little buggers really go after diabetics! Who knew?

For me, chiggers must be avoided at all costs. I am deathly allergic to them. They cause HUGE, discolored, ugly "pox" on me, and I become really ill. Ugh. But no chiggers in NM, YAY!!

Sorry for your, uh, discomfort!

Nina Diane said...

Hey Cheryl.....plant some lemon balm in pots and put around your deck. They'll leave ya'll alone...they hate the smell of lemon! don't plant in your yard unless you want the stuff to take over. And here's an old wives tale....eat more garlic! hahaha

Loreluca said...

Funny! But you just reminded me of this season's little stinkers! I HATE mosquitoes! they also get me especially... can't wait for them to arrive, yeehaaa! *sigh*

Anonymous said...

YUCKY!!!

Heather said...

Oh yeah.. summer time in the South. Thankfully, I'm not the sweet blooded type they prefer. My 4 year old is though, and she gets WELTS. I hope you feel better soon.

Dawn Bibbs said...

Oh my goodness, I HATE mosquitos! But they simply LOVE me and Jayla. But poor little Jayla is a buffet for mosquitos! They eat her little chocolate legs UP!!! ;)

And I must say that was one thing I absolutely LOATHED about going to Mobile in the summer. The mosquitos the size of Hughey helicopters!!! You could hear them coming a mile away.

Hope you get through this quickly...